Wake The Sun

I would like to say how much I love my friends. Seriously, they care so much about me it makes me smile. Sometimes I feel kind of alone, but I really do know they will always be there for me to fall back on just like I’ll be there for them.

Sorry if I’ve sounded crazy lately. Things have been a little all over the place.

There’s another thing that has been bothering me. A couple days ago I found out that while Doug and I went out, he didn’t always tell me everything. I guess I knew that, but my “source” told me that he had dropped his English class because he wanted to find a job and join the navy. I knew both of those things, but not the dropping classes part. It makes me angry and sad that he never told me. I was always there for him, but he never really told me what was going on in his life. It makes me question our whole relationship. It makes me lose any sympathy for him. It also pisses me off that he won’t even talk to me. I wished him a happy thanksgiving…and didn’t receive one in return. If I could say something to him, I would say Grow Up and Mature. I hope he reads this. And I want him to know, no matter what BS he puts me through, I’m still here for him, like I am for any other person. Maybe I should just stop caring though.*end of angry/sad rant*

I love my friends. You know you who you are. (hope for happy post soon :)

-Riot!Ross

lol. thanks bella. you don’t annoy me. I love you! <3

bellaboo:

so here i am, working on my english. and of course, i’m procrastinating. lesson learned, work on essays or homework in general in advanced. sorry if i annoy you. haha cause i’m probably one of the people who were sitting down doing nothing this weekend. well, actually i cleaned too! that kinda counts right? oh and i even helped my aunt and mom cook!

and hope you feel better. in english, don’t worry. i won’t make you laugh. i’m not even funny :)

riotross:

So I finally feel like I’m not going to dissolve or explode into nothing. I haven’t thrown up since last night, which is a super ubertastic great thing. Now I just have to deal with the soreness of my ribs and stomach from all that puking. gross. sorry again for the visual. I lost 3 pounds since yesterday. It’s insane and scary to think that basically 3 pounds of me flushed right down the toilet.

It hurts to laugh. It hurts to move. It freaking hurts to sit. But hey, I am going to school tomorrow. As long as I have no fever or no puke fest in my bathroom, I’m good to go. It’s going to suck though. There is no chance that no one will make me laugh. Bring on the pain.

I just finished my papers too. It’s a miracle I think. I still need to reread them, but at least I was able to type it all out. Trotter said I could have more time, but I don’t think I’ll need it. Man, people who do nothing and who are perfectly healthy annoy me. I know some people were just sitting on there butts doing nothing, while felt like I was going to die. Yet I was still more concerned about my stupid papers. Those people have no excuses. Lame. (that wording does not make sense..oh well. i think you’ll catch my drift)

Well, I will go back to my spot on the couch and finish up the rest of my hw. It sucks that I can’t even enjoy myself during a four day weekend. What does God have against me?

-Riot!Ross

So I finally feel like I’m not going to dissolve or explode into nothing. I haven’t thrown up since last night, which is a super ubertastic great thing. Now I just have to deal with the soreness of my ribs and stomach from all that puking. gross. sorry again for the visual. I lost 3 pounds since yesterday. It’s insane and scary to think that basically 3 pounds of me flushed right down the toilet.

It hurts to laugh. It hurts to move. It freaking hurts to sit. But hey, I am going to school tomorrow. As long as I have no fever or no puke fest in my bathroom, I’m good to go. It’s going to suck though. There is no chance that no one will make me laugh. Bring on the pain.

I just finished my papers too. It’s a miracle I think. I still need to reread them, but at least I was able to type it all out. Trotter said I could have more time, but I don’t think I’ll need it. Man, people who do nothing and who are perfectly healthy annoy me. I know some people were just sitting on there butts doing nothing, while felt like I was going to die. Yet I was still more concerned about my stupid papers. Those people have no excuses. Lame. (that wording does not make sense..oh well. i think you’ll catch my drift)

Well, I will go back to my spot on the couch and finish up the rest of my hw. It sucks that I can’t even enjoy myself during a four day weekend. What does God have against me?

-Riot!Ross

I have been up since 3AM..throwing up every possible thing inside of me. I swear there is nothing left…but it keeps coming. I’ve slept on and off, but I feel terrible. I was unable to go to the Food Bank today with my mom, brandon h, and craig. This sucks.

You know what else pisses me off? I haven’t been able to work on the two papers I need to get done by monday. It makes me so mad. I hope these terrible feelings go away by tomorrow. I need to get my school work done and I need to be able to go to school on Monday. Ugh. I can’t even remember how many times I’ve thrown up. My throat hurts..and I’ve only had chinese medicine, two crackers, and some gaterade. You know where it all ended up….the toilet. Sorry for the really bad visual.

The positive of today was watching some great movies (ie A Walk To Remember and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure) and having a really good talk with Craig. Since I was sick, he came over after the food bank thing and I was here to listen to his sorrows. I’m glad he still trust me and knows that not only will I be there for Janessa, my best friend, I’ll also be there for him. I think logically. I don’t take sides in these situations.

Ugh..i think I need to go throw up again…

Thanksgiving turned out to be pretty fun. The food was delicious and the company was great. It was fun to have more of the family over. I played rock band with my cousins. HILARIOUS. haha. It was a lot of fun. My mom and auntie played too. Boy…my cousin Aaron must stick to his day job…vocals are kinda meh. lol

So I still don’t know If I’m going to go shopping with Andrew tomorrow. He didn’t call me back yet. We’ll see tomorrow I guess.

Oh yeah! Freakin surprise of the year….I talked to Vinnie! He texted me happy thanksgiving…and then I called him..and he actually answered. He’s in Arizona with his family right now. It was good to talk to him. Haven’t talked to him since…May. I better see him down here soon. Need to see my “husband” lol.

I hope I finish my papers this week. I NEED to. Change: I hope I do well on my finished papers. Wish me luck. I’m going to need it.

Time to spend some quality time with mom.

-Riot!Ross

It’s thanksgiving., which should be all about family…but I’m on the computer. I’ve made some progress on my APUSH portfolio..so that’s good. Only a small fraction of the fam bam is here so far..so I’ve been taking a break and lurking on myspace. Lol. That word is so much more creepy than the reality of what I was doing. I really need a myspace of my own. Once I’m 18 I’ll get one…my mom won’t have a say in it then yess. 2 more years…way too long.

People, get a facebook!

Oh, the new Sparkling Green Tea Ginger Ale is super yum-o. Try it!

I feel so random today. My mind has been all over the place. I feel slightly liberated..but I have no idea why. Maybe I’m changing in a way, in a good way though. I’ve been wanting to refine and define myself for a long time now. Maybe now is the time.

-Riot!Ross

My Family: Without them, I would be a nobody. I wouldn’t even exist.

My Friends: I’m so thankful that I have friends that I know I can trust. It kills me to see those with fake friends. I know my friends will always have my back no matter what. They lift me up when I’m down and I love them to death. You guys know who you are.

Life: I am just happy to be alive. I am extremely fortunate for the life I have. I know many aren’t as fortunate.

Music: This gets me through the day. Music is like my anti-drug. It’ll never hurt me and it’ll always be there to calm my nerves. Music is freedom of expression. That’s why it’s so beautiful.

I am thankful for a lot of things, but that should give you a general idea. Although I’m not thankful for all the school work I have and this cold weather, I wil find time to enjoy this weekend.

-Riot!Ross

I’ll do a recap on my day later. Thanks everyone. <3

Let’s see what my day was like:

I feel like my English essay was pretty ok. I hope I did as well as I feel I did. I really need some coffee to wake me up. CMW was fun of course. It was fun taking pictures of the sound/stage crew in the auditorium. I love and appreciate those guys so much. I think I did pretty well on my pre-calc test…hopefully.

I was so disapointed in journalism. I worked hard on those 6 articles and I want them published..on time. Seems like Jackie and I are the only ones that really care about it. ugh. I hope the paper doesn’t get out too late.

I felt like an epic failure in APUSH. I think it was the worst essay I have ever written. Seriously. I don’t know. At the end..since I had like one minute to write my last paragraph, I basically gave up. I’m so disappointed in myself. Oh well. There are some good and some bad days. I can’t do well all the time. Man oh man.

When I walked into chem and sat down, I banged my head on the desk about three times (it actually hurt..ouch). Then boo came over to see if I was ok. Sorry for being in such a bad mood. I just couldn’t believe how I did the period before.

*I snapped out of it thanks to Him again. He’s like my happy pill. No matter what mood I’m in, he can always get me to laugh.*

Went to hot topic at 7pm for their “listening party” Wasn’t really a party. I pre ordered the album though and got a poster. The album is EPIC, in a good way. Can’t wait for the 16th of December. FOB will always be #1 in my heart (musically)

Bah, I don’t really feel like blogging really. dunno why. Later people.

-Riot!Ross

PS. Have a good turkey day!

I think in the last hour I’ve logged in and out of of this place like 5/6 times. 3/4 times in and out of myspace (and I don’t even have my own) and I just stayed on facebook.

I NEED to get off. I’ve decided not to work on my paper anymore tonight. Fustration makes for a bad paper. I hope tomorrow goes well.

-Riot!Ross

*That smile could cure cancer*

My head feels like it is going to explode into thousands of pieces of shredded notebook paper. Ok..I don’t know why I used that as an example, but it pretty much sums it up in crazy world. I think I’m living in crazy world and I have no escape plan. I think I need a bigger S.O.S. sign. Seriously…

So, I have so much stuff to do tomorrow. 1. In-class English essay 2. Pre-Calc test 3. DBQ. That list is depressing.

My thanksgiving weekend will be even more depressing if I don’t figure things out. I have to 1. finish my Scarlet Letter Paper (which is kicking my behind right now) 2. APUSH study guide 3. APUSH reading. 4. Portfolio #3 and 5. probably a bunch of other junk that will put me in a severe coma or depression with how un-thankful I am going to be the next 5 days.

I sound so emo. Note to self: SNAP OUT OF IT AND GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME. (do not even think about how that sounds like I’m quoting HSM..oh geez.

THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS:

So besides the upcoming stuff and how frustrated I am at the moment…the day was pretty ok.

I was crowned the Supreme Court Justice of CCC. Oh how I love that club.

I understood chem today. wow.

He always makes me smile and my mood better. man oh man. why oh why.

I will have 5/6 articles in the next issue of the school newspaper. All I have to do now is take photos and lay it all out. (dang the server is up..) I hope we get the paper down DURING 4th, so I won’t have to stay after school.

Yay…shopping with Andrew soon…i hope. I need to relax and get stuff for winter ball…but as soon as I go home i’ll have hw to tend to. ew.

wow long post. Must go do something with my life. Oh yeah…papers. =/

-Riot!Ross

I hope She figures things out. This situation is sooo bad and I never saw it coming. None of us did. Not only does it affect 1 other person..but 3 in total. I wish they didn’t yell at her. They need to just sit down and listen. She will decide what’s best for her and she needs to do it on her own. Those feelings are hard to reverse. I know. I’ve been there. Whatever she does, I’ll always have her back. I just hope she decides wisely. We’re Switzerland right now.

Him demanding to speak to her in person really shows that he loves her. I wish I had that. Maybe I didn’t matter as much as he said. I always feel like I’m in the shadow of stuff. My things always seem to be really small and usually pushed aside. It’s fine though. I’ll be there for them.

I miss having someone telling me they love me, but it’s fine. I kind of enjoy being single. ( i love beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” That dance is FIERCE!lol ) I’ve gotten use to it really quick..since it’s only been a week. Maybe it’s because my mind has been wandering to something new. I kind of wish it wasn’t though.

-Riot!Ross

Things sure are twisted lately. I feel like I’m going through the movie Alice and Wonderland where surprises are popping out everywhere.

A. Band was easy because we got out super early, making it possibly for us to hang with Trots for his birthday.

1. English was pretty ok and semi-fun as usual. Man, that egg nog latte was good.

2. CMW was insanely fun. Although I was scared to climb those stairs, I’m glad I did it. It’s something I’ll always remember. Next time we must find the chalk! Pretending to be undercover with the Rev, Jackie, Bri, and a bunch of others was hilarious. The period seemed really long, which was good because I had tons of fun. (I wish I said more to him.ugh)

3. Math was fine. I had Back in the USSR stuck in my head. I am still not looking forward to all the in class stuff on the short Wednesday. Boo.

L. Trotter had a small party in his room for his, Jennifer, and Ashley’s Bday. Crazy bows.

4. Four Words: Bust A Gut Laughter

5. Pretty laid back. I started to feel in the shadows again. I’ll explain in next post. Man..I wish I didn’t have that other feeling.

6. Although I hate chemistry, I love the people in that class. I can’t wait for Dylan to see his new Natas paper…lmao XD

-Riot!Ross

This is so cute of him.

travie:

I’m so happy to welcome, my main man, little Bronx Mowgli Wentz into this crazy world of ours. Congrats to Petey and Ash. I’ve been so stoked about this ever since i found out Ash had a bun in the oven. You know Uncle Travie had to make sure Bronx ‘s swagger was on a hundred, thousand, TRILLION from day one, SO, i took it upon myself to make sure I was the first one to get him his 1st pair of J’s. I couldnt help my self so i got him a couple pairs of AF1’s with matching Bib’s. Wholly moley this little fucker is gonna be spoiled rotten if I have anything to do with it……Damn, I can’t wait to make a little pal for him to play with ;)